3 Things That Happen When We Say No


Day Three Reflection: Lessons Learned When We Slow Down

Yesterday I was supposed to meet my cousin to give her some items as she prepares for a new baby.  Our meeting was supposed to be 1 PM.  In the midst of rushing out the door, having to go back home twice, running late for her doctor’s appointment, she didn’t notice the air pressure on her tires.  She hopped in the car with three little girls and in a flash, on a busy interstate, her car spun around and landed in a ditch.  The two back tires were blown completely. Thank God she, expected baby, and the three little girls are doing just fine.

I wasn’t going to post my reflection today but as I thought about The Best Yes studies and my reflection I’ve been doing in my own life, this scenario connected immediately to my studies.  Now for the record, I’m not saying my cousin did anything wrong.  For me, I connected the scenario to my lessons learned.

Here is what I learned when we slow down:

  1.  Life is a lot less discombobulated. You gain clarity on some things. Let’s face it, when you’re busy lots of things happen that you sometimes don’t realize.  You eat out so much.  You forgot it was your day to pick up the kids.  You were late to the leadership meeting at church.  The baseball game tickets were for last weeks game. Your oil needed changing a month ago.  Your tires are worn out. You get it, right.   When life is foggy, it’s really hard to see what’s ahead.  When life is clearer, you notice important things.  You notice things that matter.
  2. You can tune into God’s voice.  When you’re so busy, you are not giving God enough time for Him to really speak to you.  At least I give Him some time, you may say to yourself.  That’s true.  I get it.  Our relationship with God is constantly being fine tuned.  I often think about a group of ladies that are best friends.  It all started with a simple walk in the morning, waving hello.  A few weeks later, those hello’s became 5 minute chats.  Then the 5 minute chats grew to coffee after the walks.  From there it grew to Friday night game nights.  The relationship continued to grow until now this group of ladies are bonded with a friendship like no other.  Christ wants us to grow with Him in the same manner.  When you unrush life, you give yourself more opportunities to tune in to God’s voice and spend some quality time with Him.
  3. Emphasis is placed on aspects of life that are important.  The juggling act disappears.  How you spend your time is dictated by the schedule you set.  Slowing down gives you control to determine what aspects of your life are important enough for you to schedule.  Slowing down gives you the freedom to say no.

“When a woman lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule, she’ll ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul.”

From Chapter 3 of The Best Yes

Bonus Tip:  Are you the people pleasing type of person?  Do you feel that you may hurt someone’s feelings if you say no?  Do you overcommit your schedule?  I too struggled with this area in my life.  I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  I wanted everyone to be pleased.  And I put too many things on my calendar.  At one point in recent months I found myself overwhelmed, stressed out, and getting frustrated.  My emotions were all over the place with my family and I didn’t want to be bothered.  I had so much to do and so little time.  I took a step back and realized I was doing someone else’s job for them.  The assignment was not for me but I committed to it.  While the other individual was enjoying time hanging with family and friends, here I was doing tasks that should have been done by someone else.  Ever find yourself in that position?  Yeah, it sucks! There was something I could do and I did just that-stopped doing tasks that were not my assignment. #lessonlearned for the upteenth time.  LOL

I learned that I cannot be everything for everyone and to everyone.  I had to learn to say no.  When we give in to spare others we find ourselves overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated.  There are times when you will say YES and enjoy it but I want to encourage you to look at every situation with an eye of wisdom and be confident in your yes and no.

I pray that you were able to gain some wisdom and encouragement from my Best Yes reflections.  If you have not read the book, be sure to add it to your reading list for 2018.  The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst (watch this video) is worth the read (the companion workbook is too).  Thanks for taking this reflection journey with me as we learned to give our Best Yes!

I’ve been looking at a few bible study online topics to start an online bible study for Fall 2018.  What topics are you interested in studying to dig deep in God’s word?  Be sure to comment, like, and share!

Remember, it’s a faith journey y’all!

Tamika W.


P.S.  I’ll be releasing the podcast schedule for the summer.  It’s LIT! Did I use that right?  Any way…stay tuned for the release schedule later this week.  We are adding some cool features to our podcast that involves you!

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